Staring at My Mother’s Butt

I am trying to assemble my “2011 Family Album”.  I started this a couple years ago after seeing a friend’s album.  I thought it was a great way to capture all the pictures that are just sitting on my computer, never to be seen again.  And I threw that scrapbooking thing out the window years ago.  Not until after I purchased all the equipment of course, but, none-the-less, at least I am now aware I will never scrapbook, even with all the tools available to me.

hard cover photo albums

2009 and 2010....I'm sure the kids will be fighting over who gets these when we're gone...

But I digress.

For this year’s album, I created a “Group Album” online where friends and I could share pics.  All together, there are 5,567 pictures uploaded from 2011.  And, for the first time ever, I am actually IN some of the pictures.

So, there I am, looking at pics from the Goddess Party.  You may remember it like this, taken with the self-timer of my camera:

Having all these pics of stuff I didn’t see at places I was at was like watching the Zapruder film.  (The shooter clearly was sitting on the grassy knoll, by the way.  I watched the film.)

So I see this picture of my daughter looking all orangy, eating cheetos.  Clearly, she just came from a lesson at Finishing School.

two young girls by pool eating cheetos drinking juice box

After I got over how Sassy probably smeared orangy puffy mess into her BFFs hair, I saw Tater on the tractor in the background.  Who is he looking at?  Who stands on their tippy toes like that?  Who has a bathingsuit top just like mine?

No.

Oh, hell no.

Is that?  Could that be?  Is that’s my butt?!?  MY BUTT?  That’s the flattest butt I have ever seen.  It’s like my back just runs into the top of my legs.

Now, I’m not sure which realization was worse- the fact that my butt looked like that, the fact that I didn’t know my butt looked like that (seriously- do you know what your butt looks like??) or the fact that my butt bears a striking resemblance to my mother’s butt.  For those of you who saw her on Springer, you know what I’m talking about.

I was starting at my mother’s butt.

I brought this sad realization to Girls Night Out on Friday.

“I’m writing a blog post about my butt.  I saw a picture of it and am horrified.”

“Turn around.  Let’s see the offending back end.”

I heard lots of girl-power encouragement about how my butt is not that bad.  Then, each of them described their own butt-imperfections.

“Mine’s a bubble butt.  Look.”

“Mine’s totally flabby.  Look at this.”

These butts in question, were, of course, not nearly the way the individual butt-owner was describing.

Why are we so quick to support and encourage one another, but even quicker to tear ourselves down and apart?

I decided to vow to try to love my butt…and all my other body parts that I find imperfect..like my girls being too small, my stomach too big, my nose is hooked like a bird beak…

But, from now on, I will focus on the parts of my that I like.  Or part, if I can only come up with one…

blue dress walking into house

That would be my calves...and...my calves. I think I have very nice calves...

And with loving encouragement, try to work on all the other parts…I’m starting with the Brazilian Butt Lift DVDs from Beachbody…guaranteed to give me a bootylicious backside in just 60 days…Sweet.  I think I’ll schedule the GNO for March now to show it off.

If all else fails, there’s always my backup plan…http://www.lovemybubbles.com/


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