I bet you’re thinking I finally ran off to some ashram and am devoutly practicing some new form of meditation…
Well, not so much.
And, technically, it’s not total and complete silence. But I would say my hearing is about 70% gone, and I can aptly ignore the other 30% that I can hear, so, yea, when I’ve wanted it, it has been completely silent.
Here’s the deal.
Had the sore throat for a couple days and went to the PCP on Wednesday.
Took the strep test, which always come back negative.
As a side note, my favorite time was when it was negative, then I got scarlet fever. From the strep. That I didn’t have.
Bygones.
Ain't we a lovely family? If you look closely, you can see the red bumps all over me. Hey- at least it's not the plague, or some other disease I thought went away in the middle ages...
I will have to burn someone’s house down if I wind up with it again this year.
But, I digress.
So, I’m at the PCP. The same PCP I have seen for 12 years, by the way, and the strep swab comes back negative.
I remind her that I always get really sick when it is this bad. We caught it early. Ain’t we lucky? Let’s medicate this puppy.
No, she says, it’s a virus. You’ll be better in 7-10 days. Drink lots of fluids. Get some rest.
No, I won’t, I say. I know the difference between something I can fight off, and something that is going to take me down.
Well, if it gets worse, come back.
How about NO, treat me NOW.
Well, I left that last part out, paid my $15 copay, which seems like a good deal until you realize it has just been STOLEN from you since you didn’t actually get any treatment.
Off I go about my business.
As a quick recap, my “business” would be a demanding, more than full-time job and 2 small kids. 3 if you count Darling Husband.
Thursday at work was typical. Didn’t feel well, but I would be better soon, right?
By the end of the day on Friday, I’m deaf as a door knob.
I stayed home that night and bowed out of my daughter’s carnival, at which she was presented with a Leader of the Year award by her teacher.
Nice. Mommy of the Year Award will be presented to me any day now. I will be sure to acknowledge PCP of the freaking year at my acceptance speech.
My right ear drum started causing excruciating pain. Then started leaking all over the place.
Awesome.
Saturday I spent in bed, trying to fight off my “virus”.
Sunday I woke up, with profanities galore (after declaring RABBIT RABBIT RABBIT), hopped into my car, drove my sorry butt to Urgent Care.
I was the first one there, thank you very much. Finally, all that Rabbit’ing has paid off.
Doctor: ”That looks painful. Most people come in here complaining like you are and they are just congested, but that is a nasty ear infection. Wait, let me check the other one. TWO. Wow. Both ears. I bet they hurt and you can’t hear much, huh?”
{Insert my sarcasm face}
Got a bunch of prescriptions for antibiotics and steroids. Yes, that is what I need in my life. Roid Rage. Random hairs going out of my face.
Did I mention how awesome all this was?
So, what the hell is my point?
First, it was apparently entertaining enough for my husband to tell me today, “You should really blog about this”. Hmmm, that means it might be a good story, or he is just done hearing about it.
Second, and more importantly, people are treating me differently. I don’t have a sign around my neck that says, “Deaf”, so people are just rambling at me like they always do. Not facing me so I can read their lips. Looking all over the place, which, by the way, is really annoying. TALK TO ME. I’m over HERE.
But, what is different is me. I am half-hearing, half-reading lips, so I have not been responding unless the person is looking at me and speaking. And, I am paying painful attention to their every word.
Guess I wasn’t doing that before. For all the communication classes I’ve taken and books I’ve read, apparently, I’ve been a poor listener. Until I was forced to make a conscious decision to listen. With every ounce of my fiber I am trying to hear you. Mostly because I don’t want to look stupid and have to say “huh” over and over again, but you get the point.
I realized this today when someone asked me about my ipad case. I didn’t hear her. So, she looked right at me, got close, and asked me again about it. I handed it to her and talked about it. She then told me her life story. She just got the ipad 2, but traded it in for the 3. She was from Wisconsin, so she bought one for all her family members so they could use FaceTime. They never come out to see her and her brother just died…At one point, she even said, “I’m not sure why I’m giving you my life story”. It happened again at Walgreen’s. At Trader Joe’s. Picking up my kids at the day care…
“I’m not sure why I’m giving you my life story.”
Probably because you need someone to really listen to it right now. All I did was…smile.
