Change your butt, change your life

After last week’s hindsight realization (haha), I did more research on the Brazilian Butt Lift program…So, I….

I ordered Brazilian Butt Lift from Beachbody. I'm sure the hard part is over now....

Yes, that’s right.  I identified an issue, an improvement I wanted to make in my life, and immediately took action to rectify.  In this case, I had just gotten paid, it wasn’t that expensive, and the online ordering system was super easy…bam…

That is not, by far, my normal MO.  Usually, I am sitting around for weeks/months/years thinking….

“I’ve really got to ________” (insert:  ”start college fund”, “get MBA”, “get yoga teacher certification”, “wrap loose coins”, “call my family”…)

I have been trying to figure out all week what was it that got me off my rear end (haha) and take even the smallest step to change something I wanted to improve in my life.

1.  it was a concrete, identified problem that I wanted to fix
2. people readily wanted to share their opinion about it, so it was easy to do research to come to a decision.  so many of my friends are working on fitness/health goals that I knew I’d have support and accountability too.
3. i have nothing to lose if it doesn’t work out
4. i love online shopping
5. it felt good to take immediate action

Five Steps to Change Your Life

1. clearly state the problem you wish to resolve

2. conduct research on all potential solutions

3. make sure the benefits outweigh the risk

4. choose the resolution that most clearly aligns with an activity you already like doing, along with the support/accountability

5. take immediate action.  if the risks are too great to rip it off like a band-aid, take small steps every day.

Now, where to begin?  I have a job interview coming up, so that always opens up thinking space around your life and your career path.  What I have been thinking about is what is my ideal work situation/environment.  I may take out an ad:

Top Executive seeking position where:

• I have flexible hours that I set myself
• I receive a great, big, huge, mega salary
• I get a company car (luxury model, of course.  Or a Jeep Wrangler.  Silver with a black soft top.)
• there are 8 weeks paid vacation a year, plus all school holidays off
• the team takes fabulous, fun, quarterly retreats at places like Miraval
• I get a discretionary expense account
• the environment is family-friendly
• I get the ability to work remotely most of the time
• I have intelligent, dedicated, loyal staff
• I GET TO BE CREATIVE
• Tuition reimbursement is available, and I mean enough to actually get a DEGREE, not barely enough to purchase a text book
• A sizable signing bonus is provided
• A semi-annual performance bonus is given
• Annual RAISES are given
• there is a culture that encourages health, exercise and overall wellness
• Excellent health insurance coverage options are provided
• Travel opportunities to fabulous international locations are available.  Oh, and at my discretion.  I don’t want it to feel like it’s a burden, of course…

And, most importantly, I have enough resources and support to live my motto:

THINK BIG

DO GOOD

CHANGE THE WORLD

There is my wish list, Universe.  Hear, that???  Maggie, the psychic from Miraval, told me back in August that this would be a great year, and that February 4th would be a big day for me.

I’m assuming a company is going to call me today and make me a job offer with all the perks above.  My small step for today will be to answer the phone, even if I have to pause my Bum Bum DVD.

Tomorrow, I may need to take a more proactive approach…but that is for tomorrow…

Speaking of which, I wanted to share a “before” photo of the offending backside as the start of my accountability, but have you ever  tried to take a picture of your ass?  It ain’t easy.  And it’s not exactly the thing I can walk up to someone and ask.  ”Excuse me, can you please take a picture of my bum?”

Side angle. Yes, it is that flat...Time to lift my butt...and my life...

Staring at My Mother’s Butt

I am trying to assemble my “2011 Family Album”.  I started this a couple years ago after seeing a friend’s album.  I thought it was a great way to capture all the pictures that are just sitting on my computer, never to be seen again.  And I threw that scrapbooking thing out the window years ago.  Not until after I purchased all the equipment of course, but, none-the-less, at least I am now aware I will never scrapbook, even with all the tools available to me.

2009 and 2010....I'm sure the kids will be fighting over who gets these when we're gone...

But I digress.

For this year’s album, I created a “Group Album” online where friends and I could share pics.  All together, there are 5,567 pictures uploaded from 2011.  And, for the first time ever, I am actually IN some of the pictures.

So, there I am, looking at pics from the Goddess Party.  You may remember it like this, taken with the self-timer of my camera:

Having all these pics of stuff I didn’t see at places I was at was like watching the Zapruder film.  (The shooter clearly was sitting on the grassy knoll, by the way.  I watched the film.)

So I see this picture of my daughter looking all orangy, eating cheetos.  Clearly, she just came from a lesson at Finishing School.

After I got over how Sassy probably smeared orangy puffy mess into her BFFs hair, I saw Tater on the tractor in the background.  Who is he looking at?  Who stands on their tippy toes like that?  Who has a bathingsuit top just like mine?

No.

Oh, hell no.

Is that?  Could that be?  Is that’s my butt?!?  MY BUTT?  That’s the flattest butt I have ever seen.  It’s like my back just runs into the top of my legs.

Now, I’m not sure which realization was worse- the fact that my butt looked like that, the fact that I didn’t know my butt looked like that (seriously- do you know what your butt looks like??) or the fact that my butt bears a striking resemblance to my mother’s butt.  For those of you who saw her on Springer, you know what I’m talking about.

I was starting at my mother’s butt.

I brought this sad realization to Girls Night Out on Friday.

“I’m writing a blog post about my butt.  I saw a picture of it and am horrified.”

“Turn around.  Let’s see the offending back end.”

I heard lots of girl-power encouragement about how my butt is not that bad.  Then, each of them described their own butt-imperfections.

“Mine’s a bubble butt.  Look.”

“Mine’s totally flabby.  Look at this.”

These butts in question, were, of course, not nearly the way the individual butt-owner was describing.

Why are we so quick to support and encourage one another, but even quicker to tear ourselves down and apart?

I decided to vow to try to love my butt…and all my other body parts that I find imperfect..like my girls being too small, my stomach too big, my nose is hooked like a bird beak…

But, from now on, I will focus on the parts of my that I like.  Or part, if I can only come up with one…

That would be my calves...and...my calves. I think I have very nice calves...

And with loving encouragement, try to work on all the other parts…I’m starting with the Brazilian Butt Lift DVDs from Beachbody…guaranteed to give me a bootylicious backside in just 60 days…Sweet.  I think I’ll schedule the GNO for March now to show it off.

If all else fails, there’s always my backup plan…http://www.lovemybubbles.com/…